Thursday, September 18, 2008

Turning Point

For many years, I blamed others for my moods. I was not aware that I had bipolar disorder. If I was depressed, it was because of a recent breakup or problems with a job. If I was happy, it was because life was being good to me.

Then came the turning point, the moment that I finally understood that something inside me was controlling my moods.

I woke up one morning in a horrible depression. To my dismay, I had nobody to blame. I had loving relationships, a good job, bills all paid, a clean house, was even looking gorgeous and in shape- so why the heck was I feeling so blue?

My former theory that I had seasonal depressive disorder was also out the window. It was July, sunny, and 90 degrees.

I would like to tell you that I went to a Psychiatrist the next day and "SNAP" I was cured, but it did not happen that way. Instead I waited two long weeks to even get an appointment. Was then misdiagnosed with depression. Was given antidepressants which threw me into an upward swing. (only 3 years later, and 15 med combinations further did we get the bipolar diagnosis). None the less, it was a turning point.

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