Today's advice, for my beloved bipolar friends, is this, "Limit time spent with negative people."
This may sound like cruel advice, especially since we are not always a slice of cherry pie, but it's good advice.
Some people are not affected by people or their problems. They are able to keep clear boundaries between their own emotions and the emotions of others. Us bipolars are not always so fortunate. We tend to be extremely sensitive to the words and actions of others. Our moods are "Iffy" enough, and we must protect ourselves from energy vampires. We can not afford to let others bring us down; we are good enough at doing that ourselves.
On the flip side, surround yourself with happy people. But not only happy people, but also people who seem to have no mood fluctuations at all, people who are so stable they almost bore you to tears. You very well might find one of these super stable friends right by your side to pull you out of your darkest moments. You might learn that they are not so boring after all, but really the best friend you've ever had.
Don't feel too guilty about deserting your cranky and negative friends. I've learned that this type of person enjoys feeling bad. It is a comfort level. Try as you might, you can not change these people. Although they will be there for you when you are depressed, it is not worth it because you will anger them when you are happy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
You are so right about that. Negative people that is. In general this is a good idea, but in particular for us bipolar folks.
With me, negativity, just like loud noises, ramp p my anxiety meter big time. Best just to avoid both at all times.
Good post,
Andrew
This is so true. My ex best friend probably has undiagnosed bipolar (we all know she has it, her father has bipolar I. I have bipolar II. Thing is, for the past 7 years or so, she has been consistently negative about life situations, worrisome, and, lastly, jealous. She knew my last relationship was horrendous and abusive..she begged me to get out. When I finally did, she found simple short PDA's between my current boyfriend and I to be repulsive and inappropriate. She also concocted untrue stories about how I had wronged her. She also convinced an ex boyfriend (my boyfriend's best friend, of course) to move with her to North Carolina and to not have friends over when she wants to hang out with him.
To top all this off, somehow she got hired as a mental health counselor. I think she's on Celexa now, and nothing remotely resembling a mood stabilizer. I'd like to help her, but she won't take my calls or anything because I'm such a "bad friend". Whatever. She can't stand that I am capable of being happy. That is no friend from her end. I know what it's like to be negative all the time - I've been there. It is hard to let this friendship go because now I really have no one left. But it's not worth my groveling for forgiveness when I did nothing wrong.
Sorry for the ranting, but perhaps someone out there has been through this before?
Post a Comment