Sunday, January 22, 2017

Reply To One of My Readers


Anonymous said...
I'm so glad I stumbled upon your blog. My 26 yr old daughter just had another Bipolar Meltdown today. I've been dealing with this for 16 years ( she was diagnosed at 10yrs old) and I know your pain and the pain of others out here experiencing this. The loved ones ( mostly the "targets") are in pain too...pain from watching this happen to you, pain from getting the brunt of your anger, and pain for not knowing how to help you. I am sincerely glad that you recognize these things in yourself and seem to be dealing with them well and educating your loved ones, that's fantastic! Could you please share some of the techniques you use when you feel these meltdowns coming on, and pass along the tips you give your family for dealing with them? Most days I'm at the end of my rope with my daughter, especially when it seems like she does nothing to help herself and just lets these tantrums fly.
January 6, 2017 at 9:18 AM

 Amy said...
To the parent with the 26 year old daughter,
I so wish I had better answers for you...
I am also sorry you are going through this.

As far as educating others-
There is a book I gave my husband.
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192
I highlighted things that really related to me, my emotions, & my behaviors.
I know he keeps it in his office, and sometimes I know he's been reading it because it's in a different place or the bookmark is moved.
I've also written him little "How to" notes.. I tell him to just leave for a few hours if I upset him too much. If I'm having a really bad day, I tell him to just Go, enjoy the day with his friends, there is no reason he needs to suffer too. If I thought it would help to have him there, I would ask him to stay. But, most of the time I just need to deal with my own demons.
He also asked me to start this blog. He thought that if I wrote about it, not only could we understand it better, but maybe the world could too.
I rarely take out my anger on him, the worst of what he deals with is my withdrawal and sadness. He wants to fix me, and it tears him up that he can't.

And then you asked me, "techniques you use when you feel these meltdowns coming on". I'm sorry to say I don't have a good answer to that. I used to see my doctor and ask to tweak my medications, but honestly, I feel like I'm all med-changed out. I haven't changed medications in ten years.  There are good days and bad days, more good days than bad days, and it's something I and anyone who loves me has to accept.
Another thing I do, is "Go into my cave". I try to just wait it out.

I'm in the midst of one of the longer periods of depression that I've had for a long time. Every day, I wake up and tell myself "Tomorrow I will feel better". What else can I do?

I hope your daughter has a lot of good days too. I hope that on the days she is well, she showers you with love and kindness. That's what I do anyways. I try to make up for my shortcomings caused by bipolar any time I have a good day.

I'd also like to share these stories of hope I just stumbled upon today- video clips of real people.
  http://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/youve-got-this

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