Bipolar, The People You Surround Yourself With Make All The Difference

When I think back to the best and worst of times, the people I chose to spend the majority of my time with made all the difference.  Who do we spend the most time with?  Usually Coworkers,  Housemates, and lovers. These people, along with family and friends, make up our support system.  You can't choose your family (although you can choose how much time you spend with family), but strive to put yourself in a position in which your coworkers, housemates, and lovers are good people.  If you are bipolar, surround yourself with good people. It will make all the difference.

As I reflect back in life, there were two periods of time that were particularly dark, and both involved dark people.  Lucky for me, these people were not both in my life at the same time.  The first was a controlling, alcoholic boyfriend.  The second was an employer who desperately  needed my skills, but openly did not like me.  In both cases, I spent a considerable part of my time with these people.  The boyfriend took strategic steps to isolate me from anyone who loved me. The employer used my dependence on income to control and bully me. 

I don't suggest making radical changes quickly, but consider taking small steps that put more positive people in your life.  It might not be possible or practical  to leave your job or your lover, but seek out positive people. Good people are everywhere.  You just need to make the effort to find them and get to know them.   Having good people in your life can help negate the effects of the negative people in your life and help you eliminate bad people from your life, one by one. 

Surrounding yourself with good people is not always an easy thing to do, but it's extremely important for someone with bipolar disorder.  There are people who will pray on our times of weakness and manipulate us into believing they are good for us.  Don't fall into that trap. You know in your heart when someone is bringing you down.  Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up.  Surround yourself with the best people you can find.  It will make all the difference. 

Where have you met the most positive people, and how have they changed your life?

Bipolar - How to Lose Weight When Bipolar

It is really hard to maintain your weight when bipolar, but NOT impossible.  I've got this.  Three years into my journey and 40 pounds lighter, it's time for me to talk about this.  In my teen years- the years when the highs and lows of  my bipolar were most extreme- I weighed 90 pounds which is at least 15 pounds under weight.   Three years ago,  I was double that, at 182 pounds.   I was 50 pounds overweight.   The pounds snuck up on me, yo-yoed  up and down, and once I got stable, they stuck with me.

There were many things that contributed to my weight gain, not all can be blamed on bipolar. Medication changes usually caused weight gain.  I gained 10 pounds on Depakote, and didn't lose it when I went off it.  Stress, depression, and a lack of coping skills contributed to weight gain.  I didn't exercise when I was depressed.  I ate cookies and cupcakes to make myself feel better.  When stressed I drank a lot of wine.  I gained 20 pounds when I quit smoking. (Don't let this be an excuse to keep smoking!  Best thing I ever did!).  See how this is adding up?

I didn't even consider it an issue until I couldn't squeeze into my size 14's and had to venture into a plus size store.  By then I was having trouble bending down to tie my shoes.   Exercise was difficult because my thighs  rubbed together when I walked.  I decided it was time to really get a grip.     I had no idea where to start. 

So what did I do?    I changed my lifestyle.  I didn't do all these things at once.  I did it a little at a time, bit by bit.  The top five things that have helped:

1.)  I detoxed from cookies, candy, and cake.  I got it all out of the house.  I don't care if it's buy one get one free.  I don't need it.  (I still sneak in a piece of chocolate every day!)
2.)  I quit eating out.  I was eating out all the time.  I was addicted to restaurant food, fast food, unhealthy food.  Look up how many calories are in your favorite foods.  Holy Smokes! 
3.)  I ate a LOT of Subway.  I still do.  Skip the sauce, and you can get a six inch sandwich for about 300 calories.  Don't let them put any sauce on your sandwich.  Ask for a light mayo packet on the side.  I travel a lot, so this is a life saver.
4.)  I track calories.  I write down everything I eat.  I used to keep a notebook, but now use the "Lose It" app, which by the way is free.  This is the number one thing I do that helps.
5.)  I started exercising again.  Like I said, I was really out of shape, so it was a slow process.  First just a walk around the block.  Now I either walk or do yoga almost every night. 


I still need to get that last ten pounds off, so I am interested.  What are you doing to keep your weight in check? 

Bipolar- is anybody REALLY successful?

Hello! I haven't been doing a very good job keeping up with my blog lately because I have been very busy!  My husband and I started a small business several years ago, and it has really taken off.  When we first started the business, I was also working a full time job and taking classes in computer programming.  I had a lot going on.   I can usually pull off three full years in a high stress job where I am expected to be on all the time. There came a point in time where I was feeling really overwhelmed, and I let go of the outside job and started focusing on our business and school.  It wasn't easy, and caused quite a bit of financial strain.

I finished the certificate in computer programming (added onto my BA degree).    The business got strong enough to provide enough income for both me and husband after I started writing custom software for home health companies.  Right now we are doing amazing!  We have actually hired our first full time employee. 

My life has not turned out how I planned. My career path has zig-zagged all over the place.  I have been a public school teacher, then a case worker, and now I am part owner of a business.  The key to my success is probably finding ways to take time off and  give myself a chance to slow down when  I need to. I know when I need some time off, and if I ignore the signs, I will have a breakdown. The longer I ignore it, the longer the breakdown.  A breakdown hurts you career much worse than a little down time or gaps in employment (in which you can creatively explain).

In the meantime, I've been getting some very interesting comments on my blog posts.  Someone questioned if I really was successful, and for a moment, I wondered that myself.  My life is sometimes a mess, but I sure have accomplished a lot!  Someone else said I was "too functional", and suggested I was not bipolar at all.  I assure you I AM!  There has been quite a debate on my topic "To have or Not Have Children."  I encourage you to read the comments on that post.  I really enjoy every comment, and I love the discussions we have.  My followers have really helped me stay strong. 

I would like to share one person's post, which I think is amazing. I call it, "What is Success?" The poster talks about everything he/she has accomplished, yet wonders if that really is success.    I think this is a very important topic and I would love to hear your stories.    
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post
 
Hi there,
 
This post and these comments are exactly what I'm struggling with at the moment. I had my dream job and then things got weird a couple years ago. I have now been diagnosed with BP1 and have been in and out of hospital (for delusions, manic behaviour, etc). I had to disclose to my boss that something was wrong because I was acting very out of character (not the way one is to speak/act around their boss). They had decided to do a performance review after a few of my outbursts but the only thing that saved me was that I'd already begun the search for a good psych who by the time I saw him immediately had me admitted to hospital. (the company couldn't fire me for needing to go to hospital)
 
I have a business degree from one of the top uni's in the country and am about to embark on an MBA. I was made redundant about a year after things got weird at my dream job which sent me into a bit of a tizz. I'm very career orientated and haven't been able to get much luck finding a job since. So I've gone back to hospitality for a while to at least get money in. I feel that if I do an MBA I can say that was why there's a gap in my CV (it is actually due to my psychiatrist telling me to not work as I was teetering upon another episode with a bunch of other major triggers happening at the same time...).
 
As far as success stories go, I think you're right, ppl are in the closet or don't know if they'd consider themselves successful. It would depend how you would define success. Like as Amy mentioned, you may find more ppl saying they've been successful at the end of their professional careers (if they chose to retire for example, rather than going off the charts and losing their jobs).
 
I went to a group for ppl with BP and met a man in his late 50s, has rapid cycling BP for about 10 years, and found out that he needed to shape his career to be in a position to be the boss. That way he was less likely to get irritable at his superiors (as he said he said he spend 70 percent of his time apologising for inappropriate behaviour spurned by his BP). I thought that was a fantastic way to manage his career around his illness, to ensure his success (he is the owner of several successful businesses).
 
I guess we've got to trust in our abilities (something i'm struggling with now that I no longer have that 'dream job' and I was diagnosed and lost the job just under a year after being diagnosed) and build a career that allows you to escape to your office if you need to use meditation techniques to distress, or work to your own hours or be autonomous or whatever it is that will less likely to trigger you.
 
Hopefully I'll be able to join you in that secret bipolar and successful club, and maybe we won't have to be so secretive about it then.
 
Best of luck.
 
Posted by Anonymous to Bipolar And Successful at March 5, 2013 at 11:46 PM