So, you're involved with someone who is bipolar. Should you stay with that person? Maybe not. If that person makes you unhappy- No. If you are staying with him out of pity- No. If you are hoping that someday he will be "normal"- No. If you don't love this person with all of your heart- don't stay.
Why should the rules of love change just because one partner is bipolar? I've been dumped dozens of times, and looking back, each of my x's did me a favor. Not because they were bad guys and not worthy of my time, just the opposite. Most were good guys who did not want to deal with the black cloud of bipolar hanging over the relationship. Can you blame them?
My rocky relationships forced me to work on myself. Eventually I met my match, someone who loved me despite my faults. I met a man who learned how to turn his head when bipolar Amy was speaking, and patiently waited for the more rational Amy to return. Our relationship is not based on drama, pity, or unrealistic hope.
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I couldn't agree more. Relationships that are based on any of those bases are bound to end horribly. In my heart, there's someone out there that will accept me for who I am and not for the bipolar symptoms that are apparent.
I want someone who can benefit from my ramblings and simply see there's more of a person behind the so-called negative effects of bipolar disorder. We think differently, and I wish I knew earlier in my life that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
My husband is bipolar. We dated for 4 years before getting married, and found out about his bipolar one month after the wedding.
We have both grown together as a couple, and I have so much more respect for my husband knowing how hard it must be sometimes to have this condition.
I personally can't stand that it is called a "mental illness" because of the stigma that is attached to it. My husband is successful, intelligent, and a wonderful man! But I'm also very glad I got to know him before I ever found out. I think people that don't know much about bipolar, are simply afraid of it.
I like to joke with him that if he can overlook my PMS, then I can overlook any mood swings he experiences. :-) It's not scary when you know what it is... and I agree with your post. In a true loving relationship, the couple will be able to look past it all, and see the person for who they are.
It's unfortunate that depression, which is also a mental illness, is widly accepted- but bipolar is greatly feared. When in fact, depression makes up 1/2 of this illness. Are we really so afraid of mania?
It sounds like your husband is doing well, so he most likely takes great measures to stay well. Unfortunatly, the severeness of this illness varies from person to person. Some people will never get well, and some people will be well some or most of the time.
I agree that people fear bipolar because they don't understand it. I told my husband about my bipolar before we got married, and lucky for me that didn't change his mind. He told me that he would watch the commercials for bipolar medication, and it would click for him which of my behaviors were driven by bipolar. For example, there is a commercial where a woman is painting her walls red, then she changes her mind, and paints them again- he said that reminded him of me.
I bought the book, "Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast and John Preston, and put it with his stuff. I book-marked things I thought he should read. He finally confessed that he read it from time to time, when he didn't understand me.
I have been with my husband for going on three years now. It seems as though the bipolar is ruining our relationship. This morning I woke up in a better mood than I went to bed last night, I have been on an upward spiral of mania and I have been trying so hard to keep myself calm. This morning I got up and went to the living room and sat on the couch and cuddled with my 1 year old and just relaxed and enjoyed his company. My husband was cooking breakfast and the two year old was getting into things and my older son was getting him out of my husbands way. My husband and my oldest son started arguing and calling each other names and I told them to please stop.
I felt the tension in my chest tightening. Then my husband snapped at me and said,"you know its not the kids that overwelm me so much its you, your my problem. If your not going to help go back to bed."
My husband does not handle my bipolar well sometimes, one moment he understands the next minute I feel like he has so much resentment towards me. Sometimes I think I should just leave, it would be better if i were alone. What should I do?
I too am living with someone who has bipolar. My boyfriend claims to also have schizophrenia, though I am unsure what kind because he does not like to acknowledge his mental illnesses very often nor talk about it very often. Usually, I have found that I am a huge trigger for his freakouts. He is a very particular person so basically if I do not do something perfectly the first time or make the same mistake twice, he views me as incompetent and unable to function in society as a “normal“ human being. He is also suffocatingly demanding in his requests as well as insanely paranoid that I will cheat on him if I am home alone for too long or go out with friends without him. Though, he also seems to push me away at the same time, as if he wants me to leave him. I dont think there has been a single day that has gone by, at least since we moved in together, that he hasnt belittled me or made me feel less of a person for my mistakes. Unfortunately, I love him to pieces and he's someone I coukdnt just be friends with without getting jealous that hes seeing other women, so I'm at a standstill. I really dont want something terrible to happen that will become the end of us, either due tI too am living with someone who has bipolar. My boyfriend claims to also have schizophrenia, though I am unsure what kind because he does not like to acknowledge his mental illnesses very often nor talk about it very often. Usually, I have found that I am a huge trigger for his freakouts. He is a very particular person so basically if I do not do something perfectly the first time or make the same mistake twice, he views me as incompetent and unable to function in society as a “normal“ human being. He is also suffocatingly demanding in his requests as well as insanely paranoid that I will cheat on him if I am home alone for too long or go out with friends without him. Though, he also seems to push me away at the same time, as if he wants me to leave him. I dont think there has been a single day that has gone by, at least since we moved in together, that he hasnt belittled me or made me feel less of a person for my mistakes. Unfortunately, I love him to pieces and he's someone I coukdnt just be friends with without getting jealous that hes seeing other women, so I'm at a standstill. I really dont want something terrible to happen that will become the end of us, either due to his anger or my final straw moment where I just get fed up and say screw it all...
THAnks for this post, Amy! It gives me hope. I just had a recent breakup and i'm tormented by it. It was everything I was praying for we have a child together, built a business together but he couldn't deal with my unexplained mood swings. You're right, because of that break-up I'm now working on understanding my illness, myself, and how to cope (for real this time).
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