Bipolar, Controling Anger

Once upon a time, I decided that I would never "Lose It" again.
I would never get angry, "go off", or say things I didn't mean.
I was experienced enough with my attempts at this to know that drugs, alcohol, pills, etc were not the answer. I decided that the answer to all of life's problems was a nap.

At that time, I was dating a man who had this very special way of making me angry. The anger he invoked in me I simply transformed into long naps. I couldn't have learned this "skill" without him. Napping for me was the perfect solution to all life's problems, I love to sleep.

Several dozen arguments (and naps) later, I found something strange begin to happen to me. The brain is curious thing. When I got upset and my heart began to pound, I would all of a sudden get this overwhelming feeling of exhaustion. It was no longer a choice, when I was mad, I HAD to nap. I had somehow conditioned myself, similar to what Pavlov did to his dogs.

Remember Pavlov?
Bell Rings as Dog Sees Food = Dog Drools.
and soon, just ring the bell and dog drools.

Then there was me
Boyfriend yells as I envision bed = I'm tired.
Soon boyfriend yells and I'm tired.
and even stranger, any trigger that makes me angry, and I'm tired.

Moral of the story, this it is not a good idea to nap every time you get angry. It took many years to break myself of this conditioning. I had to learn to accept that anger is an OK emotion, and find proper ways to display it.