Bipolar And Successful

Should I Stay With Someone Who is Bipolar?

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:16:00 +0000

So, you're involved with someone who is bipolar. Should you stay with that person? Maybe not. If that person makes you unhappy- No. If you are staying with him out of pity- No. If you are hoping that someday he will be "normal"- No. If you don't love this person with all of your heart- don't stay.

Why should the rules of love change just because one partner is bipolar? I've been dumped a dozens of times, and looking back, each of my x's did me a favor. Not because they were bad guys and not worthy of my time, just the opposite. Most were good guys who did not want to deal with the black cloud of bipolar hanging over the relationship. Can you blame them?

My rocky relationships forced me to work on myself. Eventually I met my match, someone who loved me despite my faults. I met a man who learned how to turn his head when bipolar Amy was speaking, and patiently waited for the more rational Amy to return. Our relationship is not based on drama, pity, or unrealistic hope.

Bipolar, My Thoughts About Medications

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:37:00 +0000

Did you know that most medications for bipolar disorder where stumbled upon by accident? Many were created for seizure disorder, and they accidentally discovered that they worked for bipolar as well. Even Lithium was first used to treat gout, not bipolar. Medical science still doesn't know how or why most of these bipolar medications work. So why should doctors be surprised when our medications don't work?

Has anyone stopped to consider that we are attempting to treat two conflicting conditions, depression and mania, that do not occur at the same time? Just as diabetes has extremes in blood sugar level, bipolars deal with extremes in mood and energy. Is it logical to think the same same drug should work to treat both mania and depression?

I don't know enough about pharmacy to comment much further on this topic. I still have hope that bipolar medications will someday evolve into more than just hit or miss treatments.

Bipolar, We Each Have Our Own Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:11:00 +0000

I've spent most of my life searching for the cure to bipolar. At first I thought my lot in life was to blame. Then I found a good man, a good job, and a good home, but I still struggled with mood swings. For years, I hoped it would be as easy as finding the magic pill. There are a lot of wonderful medications out there, but medications alone are not the cure. I'm still on my own journey, but I think a healthy lifestyle, a loving support system, and a good psychiatrist are key to bipolar success.

The bipolar journey is a bumpy ride.

Bipolar, Build a Safety Net

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 09:53:00 +0000

Everytime I'm put on a new medication and it works, I think "I'm Cured!". I should know better by now, I've been battling bipolar mood swings for 25 years. It's been ten years since my last major breakdown, one so severe I could not work for months. Yet, there have still been many bumps along the way. It was blind luck that prevented me from losing my home during my last major bout of depression. Somehow I managed to get unemployment, and a kind neighbor became my friend.

Hopefully you will never have a complete breakdown. Hopefully, You will never become too ill to work. The government won't step in to help you until you've lost everything, trust me I've seen it first hand. Build some sort of safety net for yourself. Create a "What If" plan.

As for me, I try to pay my major bills at least three months in advance. Although I'm doing well and can afford more, I keep my liabilities modest. Friends who earn less, own more. But, I can not risk living paycheck to paycheck.

Some promotions I've passed by. I know my limits. When I'm doing well, I work to expand and improve my skills instead.

When living with bipolar, it's best to play it safe. I've watched my bipolar friends thrive and then fall. I chose to stay away from the ledge.

Some of my bipolar friends have given up. They are afraid to try at all. They say it's easier to collect disability. I understand that seems to be playing it safe. But, it's important to stay competitive and know how to provide for yourself. What the government gives, they can take away, and I've seen that first hand as well.

I know it seems that you have to try three times harder than anyone else. In many ways, you do. Despite these challengeges, you can build a happy and comforable life for yourself.

Bipolars, We Don't Always Take Our Medication

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:07:00 +0000

Us bipolars don't always take our medications. This is, perhaps, the most frustrating quality about us. Those who love us, and those who try to fix us, just can't stand it. If we know that we will be "better" if we take our meds, then why don't we just take them? Easy Answer-because a medicated life is boring for us bipolars, and we are addicted to the highs and sometimes even the lows. Bipolar medications are not fun to take, the side effects are a huge drag, and when we start taking medications we don't know who we are anymore.

That said, I take Lamictal daily for my bipolar. Without Lamictal, I would not be able to function on most days. Had I not accepted my fate as the ultimate psychiatric guinea pig, I would be worse off. Bipolar drugs tend to make you gain weight, make you feel exhausted, and take the joy out of your life, until you find one that works. For me, my match was Lamictal. For you, it will probably be something else.

Before I started taking medication for my Bipolar, I was an avid writer and poet. You will learn that our most famous artists had one mental illness or another. As soon as I started taking my medication, I lost my ability to write. I also lost my sex drive, gained 40 pounds, and slept all the time. I could accept everything else, but not the loss of my creative spirit. So, I skipped a pill here and there. Then went off my medications for a week or two. This pattern of medication non-compliance lasted for years. Even with my "match", Lamictal, I still can't say that I am 100 percent compliant. I need to be.

I have many memories of my former self. Most bad, but many good. Sometimes I will come across a picture of my former self, smiling so brightly, and miss that girl so badly. Still, there are other images, mostly in my mind, where life was not so good.

I relate closely with the addict, or the alcoholic that thinks he can have "just one". I understand. The addicts have a twelve step program, and maybe we need one too. In fact, I went to several AA meetings, just to understand addiction. Most helpful is the AA step to take an honest and thorough Moral Inventory of yourself. The most difficult, is to begin to make amends.

So yes, it will be difficult at first. You will have to reinvent yourself. In the end, you will be a successful bipolar, and will learn to live a happy and fullfilling life. Don't give up; keep working with your doctor, your friends, and your family.

Ideas Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:28:00 +0000

My husband calls me "Ideas Girl". My psychiatrist calls it "Flight of Ideas," a symptom of my bipolar. I prefer the title "Ideas Girl", and I kinda like it.

I am blessed to have a husband who listens to my ramblings, and steals them from me to make a good buck. It improves our quality of living, and I also feel great pride because I was a part of this. He is able to filter out the good ideas from the bad ones. I start projects, but rarely finish them. I have a hundred projects going on at once, he picks 5 or 10 of these projects and finishes them for me.

You see, I am creative, and my husband is diligent. My high school math teacher tried to teach me diligence by making me write its definition 100 times. I still remember it word-for-word. Diligence: A constant, earnest effort to achieve a task undertaken.
Needless to say, this was not the cure.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. The key to success is to embrace your strengths- your abilities- and to find accommodations that will allow you to proceed despite your shortcomings.

The love / hate relationship with life

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 08:31:00 +0000

Of the many dilemmas of bipolar, perhaps the most difficult of all, is the love/hate relationship with life. There are days when we don't value life, days when we don't enjoy it, and sometimes we even consider ending it. In depression, darkness surrounds us; pain stabs us through the heart. In mania, there are moments when we embrace every second, as if it were our last, and we love life like we never thought was possible. The colors become so beautiful, circles of light embrace the soul. Yes, we have good days and bad days, like nobody else. The intensity of what we feel is indescribable and unpredictable.

To love life so intensly one moment, and to despise it so greatly the next, can bring about feelings of guilt and shame. How do we keep the color in our life? Medications can numb us and make our world turn grey. Our environment can trigger us into mania or depression. After fighting this battle for years, charting our mood - not too high, not too low - we become afraid to feel at all. We struggle, wondering if our feelings are appropriate for the situation.

They say that people who have cheated death learn to love life in a whole new way. Major depression feels so much like death, and I have come out of it a hundred times. Every time I concour depression, the colors come back and I love life more than ever.

Bipolar Tomatoes

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 03:37:00 +0000

This year I decided to start a garden. Since I don't have any gardening experience, I decided to start with just a few tomato and green pepper plants. The green peppers never really had a chance, and died within weeks. The tomatoes, however, thrived despite my unpredictable attention to them. Eventually, the tomatoes had to be removed, for reasons obvious to my neighbors- they became humongous and unruly; my fault completely.

Bipolar disorder causes shifts in a person's mood and energy. Lack of follow through in projects is common. The trick to being bipolar and successful is to know which projects you can take on that will not be affected by your down time. Projects that can be attended to when energy and motivation are high, and then neglected later when energy is low are best.

Had I spent more time with my tomatoes, they would have been prettier and probably would have produced more. I still got dozens of tomatoes, which tasted far better than any you can buy in a store. Creative energy well spent.

You might wonder why the tomatoes were planted in front of the house, where the flower bed should have been. Had they been planted in the back of the house, where a garden is supposed to grow, they would have died; I would have forgotten about them altogether. The green peppers were planted in the back of the house.

Limit Contact With Negative People

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 09:17:00 +0000

Today's advice, for my beloved bipolar friends, is this, "Limit time spent with negative people."
This may sound like cruel advice, especially since we are not always a slice of cherry pie, but it's good advice.

Some people are not affected by people or their problems. They are able to keep clear boundaries between their own emotions and the emotions of others. Us bipolars are not always so fortunate. We tend to be extremely sensitive to the words and actions of others. Our moods are "Iffy" enough, and we must protect ourselves from energy vampires. We can not afford to let others bring us down; we are good enough at doing that ourselves.

On the flip side, surround yourself with happy people. But not only happy people, but also people who seem to have no mood fluctuations at all, people who are so stable they almost bore you to tears. You very well might find one of these super stable friends right by your side to pull you out of your darkest moments. You might learn that they are not so boring after all, but really the best friend you've ever had.

Don't feel too guilty about deserting your cranky and negative friends. I've learned that this type of person enjoys feeling bad. It is a comfort level. Try as you might, you can not change these people. Although they will be there for you when you are depressed, it is not worth it because you will anger them when you are happy.

Not Every Day Will Be A Good Day

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 08:28:00 +0000

In my quest for stability, I sometimes forget, that not every day will be a good day.
I didn't know that I had bipolar disorder until I was in my twenties. Years of emotional ups and downs have taught me to fear the downs.

The dilemma we face is control. We are as much terrified by happiness, as we are by sadness. But, we try much harder to stop the sadness. With bipolar, we can not predict how far our mood will fall off course, and that is a very, very frightening realization.

Those of us who are successful and bipolar, are only successful because we continue to play an active role in our treatment. Bipolar disorder never goes away. For the most part you can control it, but it is with you every second of every day.

I cope with my bipolar first with medications, next with understanding the disorder, then with self knowledge, and last with help from others - such as friends, family, and my therapist. Every successful bipolar has their own preferred method to control the madness.

My so-called normal friends yell, cry, lash out, and complain- all seemingly with no remorse. I,however, try ridiculously hard to smother any negative emotions- perhaps too hard.

I admit tonight I'm feeling blue, but tonight I need to let myself embrace the sadness.

Have A "NO" Day, Bipolar or Not

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 09:43:00 +0000

Once upon a time, I sold my soul to the word "Yes". Perhaps it was low self esteem, or making up for my mental health shortcomings, but I always seemed to say "Ok".

And then one day, I decided to say "No", and to say it all day long. I told everyone I was having a "NO" Day. I pranced around as if in a comedy-like skit, and in the fashion of a 2 year old, smiled and said "No". Ah! what a wonderful day that was. So wonderful in fact, that "NO!" is now my favorite word.

Saying "No" feels so good that I don't even make up excuses anymore.
Saying "No" gives me the time and energy to do what I need to do, and what I want to do.

Since I learned the word no, most of those energy-sucking leaches who once claimed to be my friends have vanished. In their place is now a wonderful husband, a few good woman, family, and my cat.

"NO," I can't lend you twenty bucks. "No," I can't watch your kids. "No," I can't find out for you..." Sorry.

Stop feeling guilty about saying "No." When you stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to DO for everyone else, you will discover who really needs your help. And guess what, you will have the time and energy to do the things you need to do.

Bipolars Need Not Apply

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:30:00 +0000

I recently found myself behind a man's desk, filling out employment papers that stumped me and angered me at the same time.

"Do You Have Any History of Mental Illness?", the application said.

I looked up from the application, and said, "I didn't think they could ask you this". He glanced at me, did a once over, and shrugged his shoulders. Apparently I didn't look like I was mentally ill, so he was not concerned.

I sat there a few seconds more just thinking, stumped- then I said, "I do have a history of mental illness. What should I write?".

He looked shocked. How could this intelligent, well groomed, young woman be mental, he must have been thinking. "Well, you are not schizophrenic or bipolar are you?" he asked. I lied, and said that it was "only" major depression that I "once" suffered from. He let out a sigh of relief and advised me to lie on the papers.

I put the papers in my bag, and told him I'd get them back to him in the morning. I brought those papers home and pondered that question half the night.

The bottom line is that I AM bipolar in every sense of it's definition. And, no, I am not "mildly bipolar" or "cured", etc. etc. Right now I am doing pretty well, but life with bipolar is not always as you hope.

I never did finish that application, I decided to hold onto the safe job I have, at least for now.

Bipolar, Controling Anger

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:01:00 +0000

Once upon a time, I decided that I would never "Lose It" again.
I would never get angry, "go off", or say things I didn't mean.
I was experienced enough with my attempts at this to know that drugs, alcohol, pills, etc were not the answer. I decided that the answer to all of life's problems was a nap.

At that time, I was dating a man who had this very special way of making me angry. The anger he invoked in me I simply transformed into long naps. I couldn't have learned this "skill" without him. Napping for me was the perfect solution to all life's problems, I love to sleep.

Several dozen agreements (and naps) later, I found something strange begin to happen to me. The brain is curious thing. When I got upset and my heart began to pound, I would all of a sudden get this overwhelming feeling of exhaustion. It was no longer a choice, when I was mad, I HAD to nap. I had somehow conditioned myself, similar to what Pavlov did to his dogs.

Remember Pavlov?
Bell Rings as Dog Sees Food = Dog Drools.
and soon, just ring the bell and dog drools.

Then there was me
Boyfriend yells as I envision bed = I'm tired.
Soon boyfriend yells and I'm tired.
and even stranger, any trigger that makes me angry, and I'm tired.

Moral of the story, this it is not a good idea to nap every time you get angry. It took many years to break myself of this conditioning. I had to learn to accept that anger is an OK emotion, and find proper ways to display it.

Where is that Bipolar Chick?

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 07:38:00 +0000

No, I didn't drop off the face of the earth. Those darn fluctuations of energy hit me again. Sleeping 10-12 hours a day, doesn't leave time for much. I've been focusing on the essentials in life- work, bathing, eating, and sleep.

I really had intended to blog every day, but the bipolar zapped my energy levels again.
The beauty of Bipolar is that What Goes Down, Eventually Flies Back Up!

But, my blogger friends, I will be back. Soon the creative juices will flow again. More Bipolar adventures soon to come. Stay tuned.

What IS Bipolar Success?

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:24:00 +0000

The definition of success varies from person to person. Too many people think success is just about making money. My definition of success is "Be all you WANT to be" and to "Keep going, despite every obstacle".

I consider myself to be successful despite my bipolar. I am not a doctor or a lawyer. I do not have a sizable bank account. But, I am happy and I get by. In fact, I get by quite well.

My cousin is a lawyer, and he considers himself to be a failure. He doesn't earn "enough" money he tells me. He thinks I'm silly when I tell him to count his blessings. My cousin does not suffer from any mental illness, he is just a little greedy. He is chasing the dollar, what a waste. I consider myself to be more successful than he.

Bipolar has taught me to count my blessings. Every moment matters. Bipolar has taught me compassion, patience, and hope. Bipolar has made me a better person.

I'm JUST Bipolar

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:20:00 +0000

I have been seeing the same Psy Doc for almost ten years now. It's comical to me to see that she still doesn't get me. I drive her nuts.

Over the years, she has tried so hard to fix me. She first diagnosed me with depression. She gave me some Celexa, and WoW did that stuff make me fly. If she was worth her salt, she would have known from week 1 that I was "Just Bipolar". After just the first dose of Celexa I called her the next day in a panic, "Help! My heart is racing, my pupils are dilated, and I can't stop pacing. I think I am going to jump out of my skin!" I told her. She calmly told me to "just take a half a pill tomorrow". And that was that.

I took that Celexa for a year or two, and it was a very happy year. Looking back, it was a year of hypomania/mania. Of course the inevitable happened, I crashed and went into a major depression.

Even after that little "oops" on her part, she still didn't get it. Over the years, she has diagnosed me OCD, ADD, ADHD, and a few other things, and given me the drugs to treat them. Du, Doc- I am JUST Bipolar.

Lucky for me, I am smart. I do a lot of my own research, and I just won't take a drug combination that turns me into a zombie.

Bipolars Get Great Jobs

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 11:53:00 +0000

Bipolars are often able to land some excellent jobs. If you work for an average size company, chances are you work with at least one bipolar. He or she is probably that super creative person who just won't stay put in their cubical (and sometimes hides in it).

The problem with us bipolars, is that some of us are as good at losing jobs as we are at landing them. And yes, although I am successful, I have burned a few bridges in the ole' career journey. The older I get, the longer I am able to keep my jobs. I usually put myself on a two-year contract.

I have NEVER been fired (yet!!). But, I have been "Almost Fired". The trick for me is knowing when to let go. Personal Relationships are most often the reason for my job-hopping. But, The worst boss I ever had was myself (I was self- employed).

However, I do not despair. I am smart, and there is always another job just around the corner. I land wonderful jobs, and make wonderful contributions. I always leave a company knowing that I have done some very wonderful things, and that I gave my heart and sole.

"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Making Bipolar Work For You

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 11:27:00 +0000

Come on people! Bipolar isn't a death sentence. You can make it work for you. Many Famous People have/had bipolar disorder. Some of my personal favorites on this list are Kay Redfield Jamison, Lord Byron, Carrie Fisher, Ernest Hemingway, Edger Allan Poe, and Axl Rose. (And we all still wonder about Britney Spears)
But hey, these are my favorites- the list is long- read it. The List is from Wikipedia, so if you know of more, you can edit it for us all to read. History is just loaded with creative bipolars.

Use your bipolar talents for good, and not evil. Embrace modern science, and continue to search for your own best treatment.
Don't be discouraged by statistics and sad stories. There are many closet-bipolars out there living successful lives, it is STIGMA that keeps them quiet.

Lead Me NOT Into Bipolar Temptation

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:15:00 +0000

Lets see, how do the "Experts" like to describe us "Bipolars"?
The "Experts" often speak of what us "Bipolars" do when manic. Today I want to touch on several of those Bipolar Traits that I have learned to curb. I have done this by taking every step possible to avoid temptation. Because even though I take my meds, I still get those bipolor urges.

-Spending sprees
-Abuse of drugs
-Promiscuity

Bipolar Spending Sprees- When I'm feeling good, I just love to spend money. I'm happy and I feel like I deserve it. I've got plastic, now lets go shopping! Or Not. I've learned to curb the spending in two ways. I try to stay out of stores. And, when I must go into a store, I bring cash. Plastic is locked away. One time I went as far to take my credit card, wrap it in some freezer wrap, and to freeze it into a big chunk of ice. Sometimes I looked at that big old ice cube, and though about how I could get to the credit card, but it was pretty well safe there. When I feel that I absolutely MUST go on a spending spree, I take 20 dollars, and run over to the dollar store. Somehow that can be just as satisfying as spending thousands.

Abuse of Drugs- My number one piece of advice on this is, chose your friends wisely. "Friends" often become the supplier. But if you get caught in this (as I did), I highly recommend a 12 step program such as AA. Trade one addiction for another, and one group of "friends" for another.

Promiscuity- Promiscuity can be the most difficult of all to control. Set boundaries for yourself, and stick to them. Heck, I've gone as far as writing a list of rules for myself and pasting it on the bathroom mirror. Extreme self discipline is required here. And, lead yourself NOT into temptation. Just as I don't go into certain stores because I might spend too much money, I also stay clear of certain men so I don't cross any taboo lines.

I Can't Get Health Insurance Because I am Bipolar!

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:37:00 +0000

Because I am bipolar, I can't get private health insurance. How wrong is that? Now my friend, who smokes 2 packs of ciggys a day can get private health insurance, but I can't. I, like many other Americans, would like to have health insurance to protect me in case I ever get really sick.
I have spoken with many insurance agents, and the answer is the same- I will get denied due to my bipolar.

One insurance agent I consulted with was very persistent in his attempt to get me insurance. He tried every trick-of-the-trade known in the health insurance kingdom. Thinking outloud, he said to me, "Maybe we can just not say you are bipolar". But upon his further research, he learned that my medication history gives me away. I could not lie, even if I wanted to. I learned from him that Health insurance companies can actually get information about every med you have even been prescribed! I have taken a lot of meds for bipolar- but the LITHIUM I took many years ago was the true red flag. Other bipolar meds can also be used for things such as headaches, seizures, etc.

I suggested that MAYBE I could still get insurance, and just exclude my bipolar illness as a preexisting illness. No Cigar. I said to the insurance guru, "just exclude the cost of meds, and psy visits". What a great idea he thought, but he learned that wasn't the possible either.

Although no insurance agent would tell me the reason they will not cover bipolar, I believe it is due to the high risk of suicide in bipolars. Many studies indicate a 15% rate of suicide amongst individuals with bipolar disorder. This rate is about 30 times higher than than that of the general population.

The most ironic thing is that I qualify for Life Insurance! Image that.

Has anyone figured out how to get private health insurance when you are bipolar? I live in Florida.

The "Bipolar Meltdown", Yes, I Still Have Them

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 10:43:00 +0000

About 5 or 6 times a year, I have what I now refer to as a "Bipolar Meltdown". I basically act like an out of control 2 year old and go on a rant. I've learned to accept this as part of who I am. I also teach loved ones and family members to identify this behavior, and help them learn how to deal with it.

My husband is the target of these "Bipolar Meltdowns". Not because I hate him, but because I love him and trust him. He is safe. My husband is as stable as a man can be, and I am blessed to have him. I have taught him to learn when it is me talking and when it's the bipolar talking.

Here is a short narrative of how one of these "Bipolar Meltdowns" sound. "I hate you! I hate everything. My life sucks. I hate my job! I just can't do it anymore! Leave me alone. It's all your fault! I have no friends. Nobody loves me. I give up!" I cry, I yell, I make threats. It's absolutely horrid. But, when it is over, I feel better, and I am "human" again.

I have learned (by trial and error) that it is very, very important NOT to have these meltdowns at work.

I know it isn't fair to put anyone through this. But, it is a choice that those that have come to love me have to make. 99 percent of the time I am a rational, intelligent, sweet, compassionate, hard-working, loving woman.

Look, I know "Normal" women who act like this 5 days per month- they call it PMS, and it is acceptable in this society. I also know "Normal" people who have crap personalities. They are just no fun to be around, hateful, and miserable people. They are crappy all the time. So, I have learned to forgive myself, and accept my shortcomings.

My Psy doctor (I can only afford a nurse practitioner) has long since tried to fix me. She thinks we can keep tweaking my meds until I am all better. Wake up doc! This is as good as it gets. That is, until medical science can find better treatment.

My doc could probably give me the meds to prevent these "Bipolar Meltodowns" and believe me she has tried. I am the ultimate guini pig to her. However, ten years into this I refuse to take medications that make me feel flat-line, or that make me drool, that make me gain 40 lbs, or that make me sleep 15 hours per day.

Although I am not perfect, I still consider myself successful. I have a job that pays all my bills, friends and family who love me, and for the most part I am happy.

If you know someone who is Bipolar, please forgive them when they have a meltdown. They really don't mean what they say.

Bipolar Personality

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 06:29:00 +0000

Do bipolars share a common personality?

I took the Myers-Briggs Typology (Personality) Test nearly 20 years ago in a Psychology class. I learned I was an ENFJ, and was given a print out - personality profile. Not only was it Erie then to read a very accurate profile of myself, a profile more accurate than I could write myself, but it was even more Erie to learn that the test's predictions of what I would be like in Mid Life were true.

The personality test predicted that I would develop a passion for art, cooking, and nature. Twenty years ago, this prediction was laughable. I was the young, wild, party-girl. However, I am now finding a passion for these things.

I found the printout of the personality quiz that I had taken 20 years ago. I really wasn't sure what the quiz was called , or if it was something still used. I googled ENFJ which was printed on top of the quiz, and found loads of information about this personality profile. I am almost certain that it was the Myers-Briggs.

You can take the Myers- Briggs quiz- Free and no sign up- at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
It is 72 multiple choice questions.

I took the Myers- Briggs quiz again today and learned that I am no longer an ENFJ but now I am an INFJ. In other words, my personality is very similar to what it was 20 years ago. However, I is for Introvert and E is for Extrovert. Twenty years has turned me and Extrovert to an Introvert. (Oh, and I also had a good friend take the test, and she is also an INFJ. What are the odds? According to the information, 1 percent that I could be an INFJ.. So what are the odds that my good friend would also be?)

I am not sure if a study has every been done on personality and mental illness. It would be interesting to know if bipolars share a certain personality profile. Perhaps a way to predict mental illness?

I think computers have the potential to solve many mysteries of the human mind. Ah, if Jung only had the use of the computer. What we might just know now.

Using The Internet For Bipolar Research

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:03:00 +0000

I spend obscene amounts of time on the Internet researching bipolar. I am always trying to find ways to conquer the disease completely. Bipolar can be treated but it can't be cured, at least that is what the experts are telling us.

I am thirsty for information about bipolar disorder. Knowledge is power. It didn't take long before I reached the end of the bipolar Internet. I rarely find new information about bipolar. Stale Mate. There is no place to go.

This blog is just the beginning of something bigger and better. I plan to build a website about bipolar success. I need to do this for myself, to keep track of the best bipolar research, so I can refer back to it when needed. Maybe it will help some other people as well, but it's really about me and my bipolar.

I find two kinds of bipolar blogs. One is the "everything and anything" blog. This blog is more or less rambling thoughts of the bipolar. The other type are the medical blogs, which usually are not written by bipolars- but instead by doctors. Information is cut and dry- bipolar 101 if you may. I don't find either type to be helpful anymore. I am ten years into this. It was ten years ago that I learned there was a name for my illness and it was called bipolar. I am beyond bipolar 101, and thirsty for more information.

Best bipolar medicines for mania, depression, and mixed

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:33:00 +0000

I thought they just picked my meds from a hat. The truth revealed! Thank You Dr. Darvin Hege!
All Joking aside, I honestly believe he could successfully treat bipolar. I was disappointed to learn that he works out of Georgia. I found this video very interesting, and truly wish more psy doctors would be honest about their method of treatment.
My own doctor will not reveal (to me) the method to her madness, I suspect this is because she doesn't' have one. Fifteen medications later, I am now on Lamictal. According to Dr. Darvin Hege, Mirapex should be next.

"Dr. Darvin Hege, Atlanta, Georgia, bipolar specialist and psychiatrist, describes medicine selection for the different phases of bipolar disorder. The algorithm for selecting the most effective medicines with the least side effects is described. "

Turning Point

noreply@blogger.com (Amy) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:33:00 +0000

For many years, I blamed others for my moods. I was not aware that I had bipolar disorder. If I was depressed, it was because of a recent breakup or problems with a job. If I was happy, it was because life was being good to me.

Then came the turning point, the moment that I finally understood that something inside me was controlling my moods.

I woke up one morning in a horrible depression. To my dismay, I had nobody to blame. I had loving relationships, a good job, bills all paid, a clean house, was even looking gorgeous and in shape- so why the heck was I feeling so blue?

My former theory that I had seasonal depressive disorder was also out the window. It was July, sunny, and 90 degrees.

I would like to tell you that I went to a Psychiatrist the next day and "SNAP" I was cured, but it did not happen that way. Instead I waited two long weeks to even get an appointment. Was then misdiagnosed with depression. Was given antidepressants which threw me into an upward swing. (only 3 years later, and 15 med combinations further did we get the bipolar diagnosis). None the less, it was a turning point.